I’ve got about five unfinished blog posts sitting on my desktop. They’ve been there for sometime. Each started with grand intentions without regard for it’s incomplete neighbor. Have you ever begun a new book without finishing the last? Same thing. Maybe it’s their subjects that slowly deplete my interest and motivation to finish, like a slow bleed. Forgotten attempts at unsatisfactory race reports reporting unsatisfactory race performances. It’s been a hard year to continually re-live and put down on paper all of the things that have continued to not go as planned, not feel good, and could have gone better. “Learning experience” races have gotten old.
To be fair only the majority of my incomplete blogs concern racing. A few talk about my life on the fit stool at Fleet Feet Sports; the customers I listen to, the feet I see, and the inspiration they bring literally walking through the doors everyday. Those posts are fun, insightful, thought provoking, and criminally less frequent…but they are unfinished too. Like innocent bystanders caught in a bottleneck of mediocre race reporting writers block.
I guess writing in general has been a bit unappealing this summer for that reason. Perhaps the endless pursuit of living up to high personal expectations have made chronicling the consistent shortcomings (as well as any other subjects) completely unattractive and subsequently caused me to “leave the pen cap on”.
USAT Age Group Nationals was just the kick in the literary pants I needed. No, not the just average race performance itself, or my disapproved self-criticized account of it; It’s been the conversations, emails, and texts I’ve shared in the last forty-eight hours with numerous friends and family members. All of who have encouraged me to continue to write and reflect, albeit in a more positive light, about my experiences during my races. The truth is I needed to hear it. I needed to hear from friends and athletes who I respect that I should keep using my writing as an outlet, as closure, and as a way to learn from my race experiences.
So I’m writing again. And I’m starting with my experience at USAT Age Group Nationals this past weekend in Burlington, Vermont. Yes, I’ll still be critical of myself throughout the details of the race, because that is how I learn. But this time Ill do my best to find the positives in the day. I’m not going to allow my accounts of the race blind me from finding the pure enjoyment of the weekend. Sure things can get better on the racecourse, they always can. But even though it was not my best day, it certainly was not my worst, and I truly did have a lot of fun. Indeed, I enjoy every event I take part in, I just often let my over analysis of the details and dazed tunnel vision of the race itself overshadow the simple enjoyment of participation at my fullest ability with good people all around me. Pen cap, off…
