Don't Forget The 50k...The Triathlon Daze

I am running my first 50k trail race on January 17th. I guess it will act as my first official race of the 2010 campaign. A bit earlier than usual but there will be a considerable gap of time between it and the next one. In all reality I will treat it more like an off season adventure than an in season race. And here in lies the problem. This will serves as longest single run I will have ever embarked on. I plan to finish in a reasonable time and I know it is going to really beat me up mentally and physically. Further more my coach from Madison, WI is flying in to hit the trails with me. You would think a race with those accolades would warrant a bit more attention than I am giving it.

Don't get me wrong, I am training consistently, training long and going through all the motions to make sure I toe the line prepared. But the things is, well, I just don't care too much about it. I mean, I guess I am excited, looking forward to the challenge, maybe, but the focus, the eye of the tiger, the relentless drive, it's not there. It's not even close to there. It's like I am intentionally disrespecting the 31 some miles of relentless CVNP trails that plan on kicking my ass for 5+ hours in 6 weeks. And I don't care. I am not scared, anxious, nervous, psyced, nothing...I am emotionally flat lined about this very long and testing race and I can not figure out why.

So here I am running my favorite trails daily, and as the cold winter forest trots past my glazed eyes my brain is dreaming. It's dreaming of sweaty and humid summer days on the pavement, of mass swim starts and running off the bike. It's dreaming about the podium and hammering on down in the bars. About 59 min 40k's and 39 min 10ks, about splits and transitions. My mind is dreaming about better days, warmer days, race daze.

So I realize, the truth is, I only really ever care about one thing. Racing triathlon fast and hard. It's what drives me, it's what focuses me, it's what I am meant to do. These trails, this 50k although challenging and brutal, they are not my motivation, they will not push me. But triathlon will. I get up for triathlon, and frankly that's about it.

So the trails this winter are long and cold but they will serve their purpose by letting me dream. They will force me to prepare for and respect them in January but for now they will allow me to dream about my lust for triathlon. Their lasting miles will force me to my limits this winter but as they do, they will serve as the setting for my dreams to unfold, and patients to run thin. They will serve as a place for me to learn, that I just don't love the pain of another race like I do triathlon.

So here is to careless winter patients and relentless desire for triathlon.

Welcome to DeJulius Blog. Chronicles of hard triathlon racing and the thrill of barely remembering it. I call that the race daze.